3 AM Diaries

Waise toh meri balcony ke upar bani chhat ki wajah se baarish ko mujhe bhigaane me thodi mushkil ho rahi thi, par phir bhi kisi tarha raasta banaate hue, baarish ki halki halki bauchaar mujhe choone ki koshish kar rahi thi...... Mere ek haath me meri novel thi, aur doosre haath me chai ka cup tha.... Mai bachpan se hi kahaniyon ki badi shaukeen rahi hoon, Kahaniyon me saare kirdaaro ko samajhna aur fir us kahaani ko mehsoos kar ke padhna, yeh sab mere pagalpan ka hissa raha hai.... Toh bas meri chai khatam hui, aur us kitaab ke palat'te panno ke saath, uski movie jaise mere dimaag me chalne lagi...... Us kitaab me likhi choti se choti baat ko mai mehez padh nahi rahi thi,  Mai use dekh paa rahi thi, mehsoos kar paa rahi thi..... Maano jaise, mai us kitaab ke andar jaa chuki thi, aur us kitaab ke saare kirdaaro se mulakaat karte hue, kahaani ke bhanwar se guzarte hue, mai ab us kitaab ki aadhi raah tak aa chuki thi.... Aur phir achaanak se agla panna palat't

Baith jaati hun paani ki lehero ke kinaare aksar kyunki mere andar ke shor ka samajhna ab har kisi ke bas ka rog nahi..... Us madmast mausam me jab ye lehre mere pairo ko choom kar laut jaati hain, tab ehsaas hota hai, ki shaayad ye mere dil ka haal sunna chahti hain... Mujhe aksar apne dil ki baatein bayan karne ki zarurat nahi hai unke saamne... Woh khud-ba-khud mere bezubaan kahyaalo ko ek dhaage me piro ke rakh deti hain... Yeh lehere, ye dhalta hua sooraj, ye laal aasman, ye thandi hawa ke jhonke, aur mai.... bahut purani yaari hai hamari...   Woh lehre shaayad meri hum-dum hain, aur mai unki..... Janab, wo meri aankhon me kaid mere dard ko pehchaan leti hain.... Aur mai, mai bhi toh unka eklauata sahara hun... Is khudgarz dunia ki tarah, mai un lehro ke shor ka maza lene waha nahin jaati, mai jaati hun wahan us shor ko samajhne ke liye, us shor ki har aahat ko mehsoos karne ke liye... Hamari yaari me na kabhi usne mujhse kuch maanga, na maine usse.... Bas har roz ham